There’s a fine line all of us must walk in a world with little to no privacy. This is good news for parents of teens. And really bad news for people who are the object of another’s obsession, fixation, borderline compulsive attachment, etc. Keeping track of others is super easy these days thanks to advancing technology, social networking, GPS, and a number of “wonderful” (and often) free applications. At the end of the day, you can either worry (which is a marvelous waste of energy) or arm yourself properly. Get informed of the latest in specially developed apps which may or may not share your location, age, name, gender, phone number and other information with third parties. Remember that old saying “two’s company, three’s a crowd?” There’s good reason to be wary of certain apps. Check out the latest 10 Creepy Apps Which Make Stalking, Judging, Rating, And Other Very Bad Things Simple for iPhone, Android, and other mobile device users.
It’s free! It’s the world’s largest social network! It’s fun to share! It’s a blast to reconnect with people from your past! It’s Facebook everybody is doing it! Except everyone is watching. To the audience of give or take one billion users. Break that down into stats and consider this: within every country on earth, approximately 50 to 75 percent of its population is under treated for mental illness. That means that perhaps even your “constantly changing privacy” on Facebook is accessible by any nutjob (or several) who can easily monitor your photos, posts, likes, make ups, break ups, and even the time you’re logged on. Yikes!
2. Spy Tools And Cheating Spouse Info Kit
For just $1.99, you can find out all kinds of things about your partner by donning your best darkside James Bond skills and following your obsessive hunches with the Spy Tools And Cheating Spouse Info Kit. This app features just about every way to source out every text, email, computer link, password, and deleted information available digitally. Then you can learn how to use spyware, keyloggers, and home made GPS systems (using old cell phones) to secretly install it on your target’s computer, mobile devices, cell phone, or even vehicle. Yes. Throw in some free duct tape and a few plastic zip ties then voila! Instant madness.
3. Black Book
Today’s paperless world has its advantages. Like keeping your iPhone password protected. Now your girl can’t “accidentally” read texts the next time you’re in the loo. Oh and installing the Black Book Free app to record the juicy details of your last on the sly hookup. Among the great features for “pimps” with a lotta “hoes” that the Black Book app offers, is no-icon access (keep her suspicion alarm down) requires only a 5 digit number code to launch. It also hides phone numbers and calls. And it’s entirely free. Bonus, right?
4. Butt Analyzer
In terms of “yee gads!” apps, Butt Analyzer is tops. This app was developed to rate the contours of your objects assets. On a scale of 1 to 10, Butt Analyzer is like high school all over again. Except the pictures “disappear” and “erase” themselves. Which means there’s no evidence that you actually bought into this “free” form of cheap creepy “entertainment.” And where do you think the pics go once they are snapped? Maybe it’s better we “don’t know.”
5. Sonar: Friends Nearby
The stage is set: you’ve finally landed a friendship or struck a networking connection via Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, and Foursquare with an interesting person. Now you can find him or or just by plugging into the Sonar: Friends Nearby app. And you can send and receive warning via a ping (or local tweet) to and from friends. Plus you can chat. Anywhere. Anytime. Even when you’re hiding in the person’s closet. Or peeking in the windows. Or trailing the person on a night out thanks to the background sharing feature. Good news is you can pause any time. Bad news is being able to requires more self control than stalkers possess.
Not only can you rate and analyze butts but you can also rate and analyze facial features. That’s right, the completely free Facerate app is a great tool to remind you just how crazy you are. If you see an attractive specimen or wonder if you’re attractive enough, now you can know just by uploading a picture. Where the picture goes ones the eery red lines make their measurements and determine your attractiveness on a scale of 1-10 is beyond me. How you convince women or men to let you take their picture for this app may be easier than you think. Yech.
7. Ugly Meter
Rogue scoundrels [less than] Dapper Gentlemen developed the lowly Ugly Meter. The disdain of this app costs users $.99 but could supposedly entertain many. Let it scan your photo and rate how terrible looking you are. The higher your number, the bigger the insult your photo tiggers. Like we need an app for mean comments? The world, especially the internet, is full enough of them. But if you are needy and validation of your looks boosts your self worth especially if you get off on putting others down, the Ugly Meter may just be a window to your filthy, rotten, terrible soul.
There’s an app to measure your manliness on the sly. Just download the Sexometer, place your phone by wherever you shag, and let the accelerometer sensitivity adjuster measure your partners moans, groans, movements, and even bed shakes. And if that’s not terrible enough, you can share the results of your romp via email, Facebook, Twitter, and other formats. If the tables were turned, that would really take the zing out of a zinger, eh?
9. Fox News
As the number one source of misinformation, the Fox News app not only features some of the worst broadcasters and terrible stories. It also gives away users’ locations and phone numbers. If you didn’t notice, the #1 source of news and sports isn’t very fair or balanced contrary to their advertising hook. Plus the app crashes regularly and is from notoriously biased conservative political ambitions, this app is bad. Really bad.
10. GPS Tracking Pro
Keep everyone you know under constant surveillance with the GPS Tracking Pro. It gives stalkers means of knowing their subject’s (or subjects’) real time, precise locations just by it’s neat check in feature. You can now be monitored or monitor anyone your little heart desires to watch from anywhere using the mobile map. Watch your kids, watch your teens, watch whomever. Ah, technology...