You met THE ONE. You love her MADLY. She loves you TRULY. You both know that, as a couple, you've got what it takes to weather any storm. Even as time, age, and perhaps even others attempt to wear out the ship you sail together. Now that you’re ready to take the next step by formalizing your union - in terms of a public commitment before your priest, judge, family, friends, nearest, dearest, and essentially the entire universe - you need a plan. And a good one at that. Given the amount of time you’ll be spending with your future wife, you’ll want to make the moment you propose the most memorable ever. If you haven’t thought of the perfect proposal yet, it’s great to have a few options to consider before you present your beloved with that priceless bauble symbolizing your love for all eternity. Here’s a bunch to get the wheels rolling with 10 Creative Ideas For Proposing To Your Girlfriend:
1. The Caveman Approach
Tap into your inner Tarzan, grab your Jane under your arm, and swing through the countryside. Land in a forest. Hunker down in a cave. Pitch a tent. Light a campfire. Roast some hotdogs on a stick while while sipping some lukewarm beer. Repeat a couple of days. Just when you’re both so stinky you can’t stand yourselves, dig deep into your pocket, pull out a ring, and pop the question. Then have crazy wild monkey sex to celebrate her acceptance (if you believe in such a thing.)
2. The Pirate Treasure Hunt
Ahoy there matey! Evoke your inner pirate (since you’ll be captaining the ship and getting lots of booty) and create the best proposal for ye lassie (or kitchen wench). Start with a bottle of rum (to warm up the channels), hand her a map with an "X" marking the spot, toss in an eye patch, throw down a sword, play or sing some sea chanteys, trail a sand path leading to a body of water (even if it’s just a hot warm bath) and stow the ring aboard a toy ship. Let her find it. And remind her that her heart and hand are your treasure.
3. The Car Wreck
Nothing gets the blood pumpin’ like good old fashioned fear. If the horrors of marriage are not nearly as scary as the thought of NOT spending the rest of your life with your woman, this one is for you. Involve your friends and pull off a fake car accident. Have them call her. When she arrives on the scene, lay limp and gory (think blood capsules, torn clothes, etc...) When she gets close enough to weep over your “dead” body, grab her and tell her you were a wreck before you met her. And now want her in a way that transcends even death. When she’s no longer furious with you, enjoy every minute of your life together. It’s so short.
4. The Choke
Pick your favorite holiday. Make sure there’s a big crowd. Don’t tell anyone of your plans in advance. After everyone is sitting down to feast, pretend to choke. Make it believable. Make them go so far as the arm wrap before the Heimlich and then cough out the ring. Then quote Shakespeare: “‘Love is a smoke made with the fume of sighs, Being purged, a fire sparkling in lovers eyes. Being vexed, a sea nourished with lovers tears. What is it else? A madness most discreet, a choking gall and a preserving sweet.’ God [ insert f-bomb for emphasis] dammit , [insert girlfriend’s name here] MARRY ME.” It’s kind of gross. It’s pretty cruel. It’s romantic in a sick way. It’s. Just. Like. You.
5. The Crown The Queen
Starting out together is tough financially. After you’ve saved, scrimped, and scoured for the ring, chances are you’re a bit busted. Take advantage of the moment and your last twenty bucks by letting her get out of cooking for one special night. Drive her straight to Burger King. Order her a kid’s meal. While she’s protesting and wondering why she can’t have her "double-whopper-with-cheese-fries-and-a-shake-meal," tell her to wait for the food then ignore her. Go about getting the napkins, ketchup, and grab the Burger King’s paper crown. While she's holding the tray, stuff a fry in her face, place the crown on her head, get down on a knee, and tell a man’s no good without a permanent queen (even if your empire isn’t quite as rich as you’d like it to be yet...)
6. The Bandit
Sneak home from work early. Dress in black (complete with a ski mask). Hide in the closet. And wait. When she comes home to shed her daytime clothes, as she’s getting undressed, bust out of the closet (hell, break the door for the full effect). When she’s through screaming, reveal yourself and tell her because she’s stolen your heart, you’re stealing her hand, because you’re partners in crime. She’ll laugh. She’ll cry. And best of all: she’ll accept.
7. The Ordinary Day Extraordinaire
It’s just a random Sunday. Between the food shopping and laundry, housework and cooking, take a second to turn the ordinary into something divine. While she’s unloading the dishwasher, grab her buns. Kiss her neck. And slip the ring on her finger. Tell her everyday life with her is anything but ordinary and the future is full of extraordinary events. BUT if and only if she’ll be there to experience them with you.
8. The Take The Stage
Your favorite band will be playing on your *th anniversary of the first time you met, date, kiss, what-have-you. Make it perfect by getting the tickets. During your favorite song, storm the stage and declare before the masses “I’m in love with [insert girlfriend’s name] and I want her to marry me.” Or if public speaking before throngs of folks just isn’t your thing, conveniently ask her during a great song. It’ll be a night you won’t forget.
9. The Top Of The World
There’s an African proverb which states “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go with others.” Use the wisdom in this phrase the next time you’re out on a hiking trek with your lady. Haul a*s through the mountains, blackflies, sweat, thirst, hunger, and beasts until you find the most picturesque spot. Tell her it’s time for a break. Then remind her that without her you could make it through the peaks and valleys of life yet you would much rather she walked every step with you. Then give her the ring. And be sure to snap a photo to commemorate the great height of the moment she agreed to be your wife.
10. The Island In The Sea
Book a flight to a tropic island. Get an oceanfront room with a balcony. Sip cocktails, soap up the sun, then collapse into bed with salt and sea kissed bodies. Just before sunrise early the next morning, steal out of bed while she sleeps and sneak to the beach. Write “Will you marry me?” in giant letters in the sand and then call her cell just as the sun is rising. When she answers, instruct her to walk to the balcony. After she comes down to you, tell her she’s the catch you’ve waited your entire life to reel in. And that you’ve fallen for her hook, line, and sinker. Then assure her your love is as endless as the ocean. She’ll swoon. Add her favorite roses and some champagne for mimosas for an extra layer of romance. Then she'll really swoon.
Congratulations and good luck!