I've stayed in some pretty sketchy places in my time. In Vientiane, I stayed in the cheapest place the Lonely Planet listed, costing just $1 per night. It was basic, a bit sketch, but generally fine. I've stayed in falling apart hostels, weird backpackers, and gross hotels. But none of the places I've ever been too can meet the nastiness of these 19 hotels, all of which are incomparable in their filth.
19. Econo Lodge Newark International Airport, Elizabeth, New Jersey
As if staying in Jersey wasn’t bad enough, but an airport hotel near Newark? Now you’re asking for trouble. This place is especially bad, with tales of people finding blood on the towels, of taxi drivers laughing at them for asking to be taken there. Sticky, gross, poorly laid out, ugly, and absolutely filthy. And some people have been mugged in the parking lot. Yay, Jersey! Super sketch, super gross. And this is only the start of the list.
18. Haad Gruad Beach Resort & Spa, Ko Phangan, Thailand
Look, when you travel to Southeast Asia, you expect a certain amount of sketchiness. Usually the rooms are kinda bad, but other than that, you’ll survive, and the people are friendly. Haad Gruad, on the other hand, is merely a horrible and vile place that will ruin your attempts to enjoy the otherwise wonderful Ko Phangan. Mould growing on walls, holes in ceilings, fixtures falling off. Not a fun place by any stretch of the imagination. Even in Thailand, were pretty much everyone is ludicrously friendly, Haad Gruad is notorious for having bitter and hateful staff.
17. Hotel Y Boulevard, Amsterdam, The Netherlands
I’m guessing the staff of the Hotel Y is betting that the majority of their clientele will be way, way too high most of the time to notice that they’re staying in a shithole, where the doors are attached to the wall with tape. Filthy rooms and leaking ceilings are the norm, and they’ll still charge you a couple of hundred euro to stay there for a few nights. If you’re going to be a shithole, you can at least have the decency to be ludicrously fucking cheap.
16. Corbigoe Hotel, London, United Kingdom
London’s pretty civilized, right? Sure, there are chavs, but it’s not like you’re in a third world country or anything. There should be some standard of hygeine and whatnot, right? Yeah, no dice. Far too expensive for what it is, the Corbigoe has become a figure of scorn to any who visit. Thin walls and filthy rooms do not give the place a very nice atmosphere. The wardrobes look like they’re made of cardboard, and lean haphazardly. The advertised free breakfast? Toast and cereal. Oooh...fancy! If you want toilet paper, that’ll cost you extra.
15. Cromwell Crown Hotel, London, United Kingdom
This London hotel looks mighty posh from the outside, until you get into the miserable and dust filled interior, with leaking bathrooms and general misery. By all accounts, the Cromwell is now trying to improve, and some of the newer rooms are better, but now you have to try and enjoy your room with construction going on all around you. The old rooms remain small, dirty, and smelly. Apparently there’s a prominent smell of sewage in the air. Hopefully the extensive repairs will fix it to a basically human level soon.
14. Grand Resort Hotel & Convention Center, Pigeon Forge, Tennessee
The Grand Resort is run down, falling apart, and generally nasty. They advertise free parking, but it’s just free street parking a couple of blocks away, if you want to be on premises, it’ll run you a couple of hundred bucks in no time. Sometimes they just tell you to park at the mall, and catch a bus back. Frankly, I think this one sentence from a review says it all “the housekeeper just came into the room went to the bathroom took a dump and didnt even flush.” Yeah, I won’t be visiting there anytime soon.
13. Palm Grove Hotel and Suites, Virginia Beach, Virginia
Ah, the beach! Sun, sand, and surf, right? Well, how about an utterly miserable stay at a hotel, too? With water that only seems to work in half the rooms, crappy ACs, filthy sheets, and general grime, you’ll think you’re staying on the beach at a third world country. Since there’s no daily cleaning, if you want fresh...well...anything you have to go and ask at the reception, and while you’re there, it’s probably worth bitching about how either the heating or AC doesn’t work, depending on the season. One of the reviewers even said that in lieu of an ice bucket, there was a plastic cool whip container. Classy.
12. Goldkist Beach Resort, Singapore, Singapore
Singapore is one of those wonderful, comparatively well off mini-nations, which has a well deserved reputation for being very clean. Unfortunately, not all of its hotels are. The Goldkist resort has homeless people sleeping on the beach in front in tents, and maggots in the garbage bins. The whole place is filthy, and the amenities non-existent — including a free breakfast that’s often just not there. Pretty much every person who’s reviewed it complains of the smell, so I’m guessing it reeks incomparably badly.
11. Atlantic Beach Hotel Miami Beach, Florida
You know what’s my favorite game to play? What’s that stain? And if you stay at the Atlantic Beach, you’ll be playing it all the time! That, and dodging holes in the floor, beds that are semi-collapsed, and minifridges that are magically invisible. And how in the hell do you have a hotel in Florida without freaking AC in all the rooms? Don’t they realise how godawful hot that state gets? Enjoy spending $100s a night for a festering sore of a room, where crimes are a regular occurrence.
10. Aspinals Hotel, Singapore, Singapore
Hello again, Singapore. This time, the Aspinals Hotel, which by all accounts is creepily tiny and falling apart. Tiny, funny smelling rooms, elevators, and bathrooms. In fact, bathrooms so small that the showers leak into the room itself. All of the reviewers complain of the horrible smells, surly staff, and a universal problem of insects in the mattresses. It appears the staff of the Aspinals has a serious dedication to doing as little cleaning as physically possible. Even though it’s an amazing location, no one seems to stay more than a night.
9. Club Aqua Gumbet, Gumbet, Turkey
I generally have low expectations for Turkey when it comes to hotels, but the Club Aqua beats even the ones I have. Even though it’s called a “club” and it seems pretty nice from the outside, Club Aqua is pretty filthy. You can enjoy the overpowering smell of sewage and your shower and water in the bedroom are salt-water for some unknown reason. The food there is utterly inedible, the toilet paper rationed, and it’s impossible to get clean linen. The pool is littered with trash, and surrounded by broken glass. What a cheery sounding place!
8. Super 8 Estes Park Estes Park, Colorado
And so now, we return to the US, and head to Colorado and the Super 8 Estes Park, which appears to be a regular fixture in cop shows in the region. Filthy and filled with crime, it’s the worst sort of motel. Mould everywhere, bed bugs, and broken chattels. From the sound of the reviews, nothing in the motel has been replaced since the mid 80s. It’s all brown, moth-eaten, and falling apart, when it hasn’t been deliberately broken. And of course, the smell. Don’t they all have that? I’m surprised a vaguely reputable chain like Super 8 even allows their name to be attached to this place.
7. Park Hotel, London, United Kingdom
London has thousands of hotels, so how bad do you actually have to be to rank so damn low on the list? Pretty freaking bad, it seems. The Park Hotel is filthy, dingy, tiny, stinky, and stained. There’s something uniquely disgusting about finding blood stains on sheets and towels. Menstrual blood? Bloody nose? Stabbing? Who knows? Yay! Filthy, musty and mouldy, they’ll even charge you extra for anything they can, like the supposedly free breakfast. There’s no sort of temperature controls, so in the summer it’s incredibly hot, in the winter it’s freezing, and all year round it’s distusting.
6. Value Place Hotel, Arnold, Missouri
Just how bad is the Value Place Hotel? Well, there were over 200 complaints to the police in the last 22 months. It’s only been there for 23. Prostitution, rape, robbery and child pornography all occurred on site, and it was so bad, the city threatened to shut it down by force. In the end, Value Place had to pay to keep police officers at the hotel to keep the number of complaints down. You want to go stay somewhere where meth labs are build in the bathrooms? Drug overdoses,stealing, assault, drug sales, drug manufacturing and burglary were all apparently frequent enough that the police got called 10 times a month! I guess that’s what $200 a week gets you.
5. Hotel Metro Tower, New Delhi, India
And now we reach the bottom handful of places, and all of a sudden India arrives with a vengeance. Even in a city like New Delhi, which isn’t exactly known for its hygiene, these places excel at filth. The Hotel Metro Tower makes its money by being comparatively affordable and near the airport, but it’s mammothly overpriced anyway. Tiny and filthy, the rooms are often windowless, with dead air conditioners, and a layer of filth over every surface. The rooms that do have windows don’t have curtains, so good luck getting any privacy or blocking street light. Since there are no places to eat nearby, you’re stuck with the entirely inedible food made on site.
4. Centaur Hotel, IGI Airport New Delhi, India
From the outside, the Centaur Hotel looks rather grand, if a bit dilapidated. This place has drawn the ire of every person who visited there because they charge like an extremely high class joint, despite having mould and bugs in all the rooms. Apparently cockroaches are endemic on premises, and the rooms are falling apart and filled with fungi. They have some sort of kickback deal with the airport, so you might end up being stuck here overnight if a flight gets delayed too long. Have fun with the bugs!
3. Altin Orfe Hotel, Icmeler, Turkey
I do so love reading reviews of places like this. “Hotel from hell,” “enter at your own risk,” “worst holiday ever.” That sort of jazz. It’s a place that bills itself as an all inclusive trip, and you can stay and they’ll entertain and feed you for your entire time. Say goodbye to your thousands of dollars, as the food is inedible, the rooms falling apart, and everything just generally shitty. Even among the generally poor standards of the rest of this list, the staff at Altin Orfe are notoriously vile, arguing with clients and treating them horrendously. Oh, and they water down the booze.
2. Autumn Trees Munnar, Munnar, India
Autumn Trees have splurged on one very wise purchase: a photoshopper for their website. They’ve handily removed the garbage dump that’s next door to their hotel. The rooms are tiny and infused with the local odor of garbage. If you ask for more blankets, you’re out of luck, but don’t worry, you can keep warm by huddling extra close to try and fit two people on the notoriously tiny beds. The rooms each have a sink in the bedroom area, and universally smell repugnant. If ever there was proof not to believe what the official website looks like, it’s this.
1. Hotel Carter, NYC
The Hotel Carter is legendary in how filthy it is. It hearkens back to the old days of New York, when pimps and prostitutes wandered polluted streets, before it got all cleaned up and family friendly. It’s the kind of flophouse where people are murdered at night. There are bedbugs and mice, excrement smeared in the bedrooms, dingy or no lighting in the rooms. Sure, it’s right around the corner from Times Square, and you can actually afford to stay there, but only at severe risk to your health. It’s so famously bad that it’s just about a landmark. At this point, it might even be worth visiting just to say you went there. Just bring along a machete to fight off the cockroaches and rats.