Contrary to how terrible rejection feels, rejection is an integral aspect of success. Whether your business proposal, demo tape, or attempt at securing a date with a prospective suitor is declined, don't despair. Rejection is temporary, like much else we experience on the road of life.
The key to dealing with rejection is knowing how to cope. Coping with rejection allows us to manage the rejection in healthy ways and can help us come out a better person. We've created the following resource to help those who are facing rejection, process the experience and move forward. Here's How To Manage Rejection In 10 Steps:
1. Create Privacy.
Do whatever you have to do to create privacy for you to deal with every aspect of rejection. Resist the urge and impulse to fly off in the company of anyone but your self following any rejection. The feelings associated with rejection are powerful and drama never needs an audience. Preserve your integrity and carve out some private time following a rejection to prevent future problems.
When your ego is bruised by rejection, just wallow for a little while. Remember your childhood days when you fell down and scraped a knee or bumped your head? Remember how good it felt to be hugged and soothed? Wallowing allows you to push through the unpleasantness of rejection while indulging and soothing your banged up ego. Retreat to your sadness for a couple of hours but no more than one day to lick the wounds to address and identify your emotions following a rejection. Then move forward.
3. Invoke Catharsis.
Have a fit, throw things, kick something inanimate, punch your pillow, cry, whine, wail, and do whatever it takes to power through the residual emotions of anger, sadness, and perhaps fear associated in the wake of rejection. Get it all out of the way in a private space in the company of only your self. Release the rejection and let it go...it's great for your battered soul.
4. Channel Your Bad Feelings.
The greatest art often results from terribly tragic experiences and emotional blows. Angst can motivate you to rise from your rejection like the great phoenix from the ashes, and perhaps propel you into a new sky of opportunity. Make use of the rejection and see it as an opportunity to improve yourself, your work, or your skills.
5. Distraction Helps.
Fuel your mind with anything that detracts from the scorching pain of defeat. Distraction in the form of comfort food, mindless television, humorous movies, good company, or great music, provides help. Count your wins, no matter how small. You'll feel so much better when you realign your thoughts following a rejection.
6. Utilize The Feedback.
Every experience no matter how bad it may seem, gives us feedback. Utilize the criticism related to your rejection as means to improve. Rejection provides growing room and the chance to learn. Most forms of rejection provide ample clues to how your approach, project, or proposal fell a little short. Use whatever suggestions are provided in relation to the rejection to hone in on your shortcomings and improve the quality of your submissions, tactics, and self.
7. Hug Rejection And Yourself.
The more we try, sometimes the more we fail. It's a universal rule that the more we put out, the more comes back (although sometimes it's in a form we don't prefer.) Refocus on staying optimistic while encompassing all aspects of the rejection by giving the experience and yourself a big hug. You had the courage to try, don't let the rejection prevent you from trying again. And again.
8. Let Go Of Perfectionism.
No one is perfect. Accept it now and save yourself the headaches related to even trying to be perfect. When one clings to perfectionism, no progress can be made. We all make mistakes. We're all vulnerable. We all fail. Accepting what we are, as we are, is vital and integral to our overall well-being. Use the rejection as means to uncover and determine where you went "wrong" so that you can do it better in the future.
9. Redirect Your Thoughts.
If you find yourself replaying the rejection over and over and blame yourself or someone else, simply redirect your thoughts. When dealing with rejection, attitude is everything. Where thoughts go, energy flows. So if you find yourself in the trap of blame or doubt, rethink and redirect. Determine what you could have done better. And think positively. Every cloud has a silver lining.
10. Rest Assured.
Rest assured that rejection is just as necessary as success as it only reminds us that we're still living. And life is good. Don't judge a rejection. Just like you can't judge a book by a cover, don't judge rejection as a negative. What is initially perceived as a loss or failure often may entirely be something else. Use the rejection as productive means to change, learn, evolve, and improve. Without rejection or at least running the risk of rejection, you will never
meet your goals. Everything happens for a reason.