Dating has never been more difficult than it presently is. Our society lacks clear definitions as to how to find and manage romance and since good love is hard to find, chances are once you do find it, you'll want to preserve it. As there's no relationship guide or map to lead one through the proverbial dating wilderness, here are our best tips on How To Make Her (or Him) Fall In Love With You:
1. Care for yourself.
The biggest and most difficult aspect of a new relationship is maintaining time to self care. Often in the early stages of romance, the "can't eat, can't sleep" feeling lingers hard and fast, leaving very little room and time to care for yourself. The best way to fend off the often overwhelming desire to spend every minute together, is to take time out to be with yourself. When we care for ourselves, it reverberates in every relationship we have and improves even fledgling romances. Despite biochemical and emotional urges to stick together like glue, maintaining your "self," your pre-romance activities, and other relationships will only improve your love connection. As a bonus, proving you're not clingy or overly dependent will likely make her (or him) fall head over heels for you.
2. Be yourself.
In the initial stages of a budding romance, it's easy to fluff yourself up to increase your appeal. During the courting process, the most vital and important aspect of a relationship is to be your pure, unadulterated self. Pretending to be something you're not is a detriment to the longevity of a relationship and our own well being. Plus, not being yourself only backfires when it comes down to the nitty gritty. For example, if you've the tendency to be lax in household cleanup but in the courting process pretend to be neat as a pin, this will only backfire when (and if) you share a roof. So stick to who you are, regardless of what you are, and reap the rewards while bettering the chances of making her fall for you.
3. Leave a lasting impression.
No two snowflakes are alike and the same holds for people. The easiest way to make her (or him) fall for you is to leave a lasting impression with your brand of unique. Employ and endear her (or him) with your humor, talent, compassion, intrigue, hobby, intelligence, wit, or essence of your self. Be fearless when it comes to revealing the essence of what you are, as the rewards far outweigh the risks, and will certainly pave the road to making her (or him) fall in love with you.
4. Don't rush.
In the initial stages of romance, it's very easy to hastily rush toward securing your bond, intimacy, or planning for the future. The old adage "the best things come to those who wait" rings very true in romance. Rushing forward opens the doors to mistakes and regret. Be methodical, strategize, and above all else, take your time in the "getting to know each other" process. Not rushing will pay off huge dividends in terms of lasting happiness and securing her (or his) love.
5. Be independent.
Nothing screams toxicity louder or clearer than dependence and nothing jeopardizes romance faster than squeezing the life out of it with clinginess. Think of your romantic relationship in gardening terms. Without proper amounts of sunlight, weeding, and room, plants can't grow and neither can relationships. The easiest way to be independent is to maintain your pre-romance habits, activities, and relationships. Giving the romance room to grow is vital and necessary in making her (or him) fall for you.
6. Be sincere.
Honesty is the best policy in all relationships, particularly those of a romantic nature. To increase your chances of making her (or him) fall in love with you, be sincere. The first step in sincerity is being honest with ourselves. Clarify your intentions regarding the relationship and don't be afraid to put all of your cards on the table. Relationships are difficult enough without the added burden of maintaining untruths. Exercise your personal integrity and she'll likely fall in love with you.
7. Be attentive and reciprocal.
Relationships can't thrive without attention and reciprocity. Often what we put out comes back to us. Use whatever opportunities you encounter in life to harvest the best things from it, including romance. Making her (or him) fall in love with you could be as simple as paying attention to her by listening to her, supporting her, and building trust. Reciprocating what she (or he) offers is also a key factor in securing her heart. If she (or he) calls you, call back. If she (or he) compliments you, do the same. Actions speak far louder than words and returning a kindness for a kindness will only benefit the relationship in the long term.
8. Make her (or him) a priority.
The trickiest aspect of any blossoming romance is to walk the fine line between enough and too much. The best way to manage the tightrope walk is to make her a priority without sacrificing your independence. As each relationship is different, there's no precise trick to pulling this feat off. Just be sure to respond to her (or his) calls, extend yourself in terms of availability, and work together to carve out what works for you both and chances are, she'll fall in love with you for it.
9. Get to know her (or his) friends and family.
We are the company we keep and our friend and family greatly influence who we are and how we behave. After taking the time to get to know each other, making introductions to family and friends provides you with insight regarding your love partner. Taking the initiative by getting to know her (or his) family and friends offers the opportunity to not only plant the seeds of tomorrow by proclaiming how wonderful your love interest is but also allows you peak into the future. If you like her (or his) family or friends, and they like you in return, the chances of establishing a long term relationship improve significantly and will likely make her fall for you.
Nothing strains a budding romance faster than miscommunication. Learning how to express yourself is key in any relationship and will help improve your chances of weathering conflict long term. The key to effective communication involve: focus, careful listening, a change of perspective, empathy, ownership of emotions, compromise, "I feel" statements, and sometimes even tenacity. Communication or lack there of is often the key ingredient to a recipe in happiness... or heartbreak. Be certain to use your best communication skills to make her (or him) fall in love with you.