In a very revealing interview for next month's (October 2013) installment of the high end fashion mag GQ, Jeff Bridges offered a "Dudism" heard 'round the world. "The Dude" revealed his philosophy on the subject of monogamy and instructed men to cheat and learn from the experience. And with nearly forty years (or an entire lifetime or two) of a relationship and marriage to his wife (since they wed in 1977) he may be one of the few unquestionable Hollywood authorities on marriage.
In the GQ interview, Jeff offered the wisdom he and his wife Susan Geston could impart to all who are married, and even those who are not. He stated his Zen like perspective that like the circle of life, marriage is the same fight, repeatedly in different misunderstandings and conflicts, until a couple masters the issue/s. In his words, he offered: "You don't get it! What is, for me, being alive. And what you do to me. And the thing is: That's true! I don't know how you feel, what it is to be you. But that's something to kind of celebrate and respect and honor! And that's, that's what we have in common. None of us, get each other. So you have to just be that. And have a relationship with that. And, uh, usually what happens, if you hang with it long enough, your love has to get bigger to hold that misunderstanding, that mystery."
When the subject of extramarital relations and infidelity arose in the interview, the sixty three year old actor's advice was to "Well, live and learn. Go ahead and do it, and we'll see how that goes." He furthered with: "Suppression can kind of get you into trouble, too. I was reading an interesting thing - this kind of goes with the meditation and spiritual side of things that I'm interested in. The difference between suppression and refraining. When you touch something hot, you don't have to repress the desire to touch it again. Sometimes you [have to touch it first]. It's like that old thing about addiction, I guess. About people hitting
their bottom." When questioned further to see if The Dude had cheated during his longtime marriage, he refused to elaborate but admitted: "I don't even want to talk about it. I don't want to make that a public thing. But I hit bottom."
And his marriage remained intact. Thirty nine years strong is a lot of work and even more compromise!
Read more about it here